I finally have good news to share. Last Monday I found out that I am pregnant. It was our 3rd round of the follistim/ovidrel/iui/progesterone combination and our 13th month of fertility treatments. It is still hard to believe it is true. I go in on Wednesday for a follow-up pregnancy test (have had 2 so far) and will go in for the first ultrasound after Christmas. I have been both incredibly excited and incredibly scared. Over the past week I have found myself planning for the future and worrying that a future will include more loss. Some of those worries include friends I have made along this journey that I may now lose. I completely understand the need to disconnect from someone who is pregnant as I have had to do that with a couple of people who were not able to respect my boundaries. At the same time, I will miss these people and the ways they inspire me.
I haven’t posted since August and I am not completely sure why that is. Part of my struggle was that I just needed a period of time to focus on something else. It seemed that each step was harder than the one before and I kept watching people around me get pregnant and have babies while I wondered if my dreams would ever come true. I started classes to take my mind off of infertility and it has kept me very busy. I also wanted to learn, but knew that I would have to put the program on hold once I had a child. It was great in helping shift my focus. I still have plenty of difficult days, but it is so intellectually stimulating and I kept my mind busier in a good way.
For now, I treasure each moment that I don’t experience cramps and that my stomach feels a little off. I welcome the idea of morning sickness and finally having a good reason for the weight gain. Any one else gain on the meds? More importantly, does anyone have helpful ideas on how to break the news to my in person friends who still struggle with infertility? I realize that some of you may stop reading this blog assuming I have any after the long break :). I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I will keep reading about your journeys as well.
sugarmapleoflife
Sugar Maple of Life 
yay! congrats! good to hear from you again 🙂 my best advice on telling struggling friends is to tell them over the phone, it is still personal, but they are still able to hide their raw emotions if they were to be upset at the news….this was the best for me when i was struggling. Over the phone, friends can offer a congrats with a less likely chance of an awkward moment. One of my friends announced their pregnancy to my husband and I during dinner, when we had just lost a baby 2 weeks prior. They thought it would be better to do in person, but when they announced, I began crying at the restaurant and what should have been a joyous and congratulatory moment was very awkward and disheartening.
Thanks! I think that will work for most of the people in my life. I have met a fellow infertiles on-line, but will maybe in-box them so they can block my feed if they want.
Sorry about your restaurant experience. I had a very similar one as well.